Are you ready to have a big laugh?
Here are various halloween jokes for you to read and enjoy!





►     Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat?    Because of the coffin


►     Why was the girl afraid of the vampire?    He was all bite and no bark


►     What did the french fries dress up as for Halloween?    Masked potatoes


►     Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?    He didn't have a haunting license


►     What did the skeleton say to the bartender?    I'd like a beer and a mop


►     What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?    Wrap


►     What is a witch's favorite subject in school?    Spelling


►     What's the best way to catch an ear of corn?    Use a cobweb


►     What did the skeleton say to the vampire?    you Suck


►     Where do most werewolves live?    In Howllywood California


►     Where did the goblin throw the football?    Over the ghoul line


►     What kind of key does a skeleton use?    A Skeleton Key


►     What is a vampire's favorite fruit?    A necktarine


►     Where do you take a ghost who's backed into a lawn mower?    To a liquor store, that's where they retail spirits


►     What do the skeletons say be for eating?    Bone appetite


►     What did Dracula have for dessert?    Whine & Ice scream


►     Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?    He didn't have a haunting license


►     Why do skeletons drink milk?    To help their bones


►     Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?    To see if she was his type


►     What was the mummies' vacation like?    Nobody knows, they were too wrapped up to tell us


►     Why did the skeleton cross the road?    To go to the body shop


►     Which building does Dracula visit in New York?    The Vampire State Building


►     What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae?    Whipped scream


►     Who was the most famous skeleton detective?    Sherlock Bones


►     Why do ghosts shiver and moan?    It's drafty under that sheet


►     What do sea monsters eat for lunch?    Fish and ships


►     What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?    Mas-scare-a


►     What's a ghost's favorite desert?    Boo-berry pie


►     What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?    It's a pain in the neck


►     What type of dog does every vampire have?    Bloodhound


►     What is a Ghost's favorite food?    HamBoogers


►     How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?    He turns into a bat every night


►     What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?    Frostbite


►     Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party?    Becuse he had no body to go with


►     What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?    The actors get stage fright


►     How does a girl vampire flirt?    She bats her eyes


►     Why did Dracula take cold medicine?    To stop his coffin


►     Who was the most famous ghost detective?    Sherlock Moans


►     Who was the most famous French skeleton?    Napoleon bone-apart


►     Why don't mummies take vacations?    They're afraid they'll relax and unwind


►     What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?    Tombstones


►     Why did the ghost go into the bar?    For the Boos


►     What instrument do skeletons play?    Trom-BONE


►     Why did't the skeleton cross the road?    He had no guts


►     Where did the ghost get it's hair done?    At the boo-ty shop


►     Where do ghosts go out?    Where they can get sheet-faced


►     What's a Vampire's least favourate song?    Another one bites the dust


►     What is as sharp as a vampires fang?    His other fang


►     Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?    He has a bat temper


►     Where do most goblins live?    In North and South Scarolina


►     What do little ghosts drink?    Evaporated milk


►     Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?    He was buttering up his teacher


►     What do witches use in their hair?    scare-spray


►     What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?    A sand witch


►     What is a vampires least favorite food?    Steak


►     What songs does Dracula hate?    "You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders


►     What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?    Bamboo


►     What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?    Pumpkin pi


►     Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?    He had no body to dance with


►     What do you call two spiders that just got married?    Newlywebbed


►     What did the corpse mom do when her son was bad?    Ground him


►     Why do mummies make excellent spies?    They're good at keeping things under wraps


►     Why were there screams coming from the kitchen?    The cook was beating the eggs


►     How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?    With a pumpkin patch


►     What kind of mistakes do spooks make?    Boo boos


►     What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?    A boo-tie


►     What kind of music do ghosts listen to?    Sheet music


►     What did the bird say on Halloween?    Trick or tweet


►     How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?    So long sucker


►     Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?    to see the boogy man


►     What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?    A holy terror


►     Why did the headless horseman go into business?    He wanted to get ahead in life


►     Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?    Because people are dying to get in


►     What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?    A pumpkin patch


►     Where do vampires keep their money?    The blood bank


►     Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?    They're afraid of flying off the handle


►     Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?    Because of his coffin


►     Where does a one-armed woman shop?    At a second hand store


►     Why are so few ghosts arrested?    It's hard to pin anything on them


►     What can't you give the headless horseman?    A headache


►     What is a ghosts favorite sale?    A white sale


►     Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?    He heard it had great circulation


►     Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?    At the casketeria


►     Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?    It raises their spirits


►     Why can't a Skeleton Lift Weights?    He's all bone & no muscle


►     Where do baby ghosts go during the day?    Dayscare centers


►     What type of music do ghosts prefer?    Spirituals, of course


►     What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?    Spare ribs


►     Why did the vampire need mouthwash?    Because he had bat breath


►     What is a Skeleton's favorite song?    Bad to the Bone


►     What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?    Scream of Wheat


►     Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?    His ghoul friend


►     What is a vampire's favorite holiday?    Fangsgiving


►     What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?    A celebrity roast


►     What's a ghoul's favorite game?    Hide-And-Go-Shriek


►     Why is a ghost glad he has no hair?    No Dead Ends


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